4/15/16

This morning, since today isn’t a group day, I will start if off with a couple things we do in our groups and share my mood, a plus and negative of yesterday, and what I’ve been doing to help stay sober. My mood is hopeful. Yesterday, as is every day, my positive was the wonderful people I work with and my family. My negative was probably hearing about the friend in group that lost his dog. Right now, I am attempting to utilize one of the tools this program has talked about a lot, and that is to be mindful of this moment. I started to think about this weekend and the energy I will have. Last weekend was easy to not drink because I was so exhausted and glued to the couch. Being more able to do projects and not having a cocktail while getting things done is going to be very difficult. When I started to really think of this, it started an anxiety attack. But that is in the future and focusing on that isn’t helpful to me. I need to take a breath, and stay in this moment. When you hear ‘One day at a time,’ it is very true. Today I will work to keep myself grounded in the now. I am hopeful that this will keep the anxiety at bay and help me accomplish what I need instead of worry about what’s to come.

Quick note on the power of a habit and finding one of my triggers…. I was watching the news this morning and as soon as they started talking politics and playing candidates yelling over each other, I instinctively got off the couch and walked towards the liquor cabinet. Like a Pavlovian response. It wasn’t until I was about a foot away that I stopped and asked myself what the hell I was doing. I am just so used to going straight to a shot when I am irritated with the news, or anything. It made me laugh a bit. Good thing that cabinet is empty. 🙂

Woah, I am really hoping I start my period this weekend. My fuse is ridiculously short today and if I don’t have PMS as a reason, then I am deeply concerned.