Last night was great. Good friends, food and conversation. I love that family so much! I am blessed to have such an amazing friend family. I am very grateful for all of them.
This morning is my first AA meeting. Last night as I was telling my husband he didn’t have to go, my good friend is meeting me there and he would have plenty of other opportunities to come with me, it hit me; this is most likely something I will have to attend periodically for the rest of my life. It was a heavy, and quite honestly, maddening, realization. Being sober with a goal date was way easier than being sober into oblivion. I am hopeful it won’t always feel like this. At this moment, it’s discouraging.
I apparently am the only person on the planet that didn’t know AA was a very secular group of people. I was pretty un-impressed with the meeting we attended today. There are a lot of people it does help and I think that is amazing for them. It just wasn’t for me. I don’t need to run to a God that I’m not even sure exists anymore. If he does, I am still dealing with some anger towards him. I’ll deal with that later. Right now I need to shop around for other groups that I feel more comfortable in.