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Well, that was harder than expected….
The last couple weeks have proven, beyond any doubt, how ridiculous my naive optimism can be. My mental state has been put to the test and has emerged with a solid D-. While Dave was out of town, it was also UEA, so the boys both had sleepovers at friends houses. I still had to…
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Six Months Sober
This is one of those posts I started writing about twelve times, just to delete it and start again. I think I have figured out why it’s been so hard to put into words what my feelings have been over the last couple weeks. When October 1st came and this milestone was reached, what seemed…
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Turned off the Fog Machine and Shed my Wet Clothes
A couple of weeks ago I made the decision to take medication out of my life for a while. The initial plan was just to cut my dose in half, but thanks to the deeds of a dishonest computer, I ended up taking them out completely. I had been getting increasingly frustrated with the combination…
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What condition my condition is in at 100 days sober.
Well, bust out the bubbly…..apple cider….this girl just hit the 100 days sober mark! For 100, I dare say we up the wow factor and splurge for the good stuff. Martinelli’s. This is officially the longest completely dry run I have had in 14 years. I am a little frustrated that I haven’t lost more…
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Sharks and Sharks and Sharks….and Mermaids.
Last week, back into reality, was a real, real one. I lived out an inspirational comedy Thursday afternoon that I am still laughing a bit about. Our division did a big service project building planter boxes, planting veggies, making blankets and moving furniture. It was a long, hot, fulfilling afternoon that I was grateful to be…
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Prepping
Yesterday, at my regular Saturday meeting downtown I was reminded of how truly lucky I am to have such an amazing support system surrounding me, particularly my loving husband. So many relationship stories full of frustrated ultimatums, stubborn responses and eventual separations surround me and here I sit, next to the man who wouldn’t give…
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Anxiety Hangover
I am emotionally and physically drained today. It’s amazing how beat up your body and mind feel after a day full of anxiety. This disorder is one that takes a very real tole on your whole self. It feels a lot like the day after a rough flu, or a bad hangover, when you’re still…
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Overcome with Gratitude
Writing about my journey so far has been incredibly therapeutic for me. The crippling weight of the armor I have built up over the years has become lighter with every entry. I have begun to accept my feelings instead of burring them. It has been very safe, private, protected….until today. I didn’t quite prepare myself for…
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Hope
This week has been exhausting. Group on Monday was different. Our usual counselor wasn’t there and the energy of the person who filled in was nothing like what I am used to in that intimate setting. There was something that was pointed out and it made me think a lot. I had been having a…
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If I make it to 60
4/23/16 This morning I sent my oldest off to work and then straight to his dad’s. His dad has more spare time on his hands than me. He can devote more time and energy to him. It’s our hope that the distance from his friends and the wonderful influence his dad can be will help…