Well, that was harder than expected….

The last couple weeks have proven, beyond any doubt, how ridiculous my naive optimism can be. My mental state has been put to the test and has emerged with a solid D-. While Dave was out of town, it was also UEA, so the boys both had sleepovers at friends houses. I still had to… Continue reading Well, that was harder than expected….

Six Months Sober

This is one of those posts I started writing about twelve times, just to delete it and start again. I think I have figured out why it’s been so hard to put into words what my feelings have been over the last couple weeks. When October 1st came and this milestone was reached, what seemed… Continue reading Six Months Sober

Anxiety? There’s an app for that.

These last few weeks have been a delicate tightrope walk, constantly catching myself before falling off one side into the depths depression, or the other side into the spiraling chaos of anxiety. The clarity I have from the absence of any chemicals has helped me navigate my way back up to the rope when I have… Continue reading Anxiety? There’s an app for that.

Ebbs and Flows

The last couple weeks have been incredibly difficult to maneuver through. Every time I feel like my feet are planted firmly, a huge wave of depression comes and sucks the sand out from underneath me, sending me tumbling into a washing machine of anxiety and despair. It has been incredibly frustrating. I miss the speed and… Continue reading Ebbs and Flows

Sharks and Sharks and Sharks….and Mermaids.

Last week, back into reality, was a real, real one. I lived out an inspirational comedy Thursday afternoon that I am still laughing a bit about. Our division did a big service project building planter boxes, planting veggies, making blankets and moving furniture. It was a long, hot, fulfilling afternoon that I was grateful to be… Continue reading Sharks and Sharks and Sharks….and Mermaids.

‘A Vacation, From my Problems…..?’

Sober Hawaii has not been an easy accomplishment, but it has been satisfying. The first night was the absolute hardest. Our little family came in a day before everyone else and stayed in a hotel. The buzz of the ice machine in the hallway mocked me….all, night, long. When I woke up to just water… Continue reading ‘A Vacation, From my Problems…..?’

Prepping

Yesterday, at my regular Saturday meeting downtown I was reminded of how truly lucky I am to have such an amazing support system surrounding me, particularly my loving husband. So many relationship stories full of frustrated ultimatums, stubborn responses and eventual separations surround me and here I sit, next to the man who wouldn’t give… Continue reading Prepping

So…..The Dentist Didn’t Kill Me

Yup, I survived the dentist. I’d like to say that I went into that office yesterday like a confident adult, but we all know that was an unlikely scenario. I did to myself what many parents do to their young children the first time they need to take a long flight. I drugged myself. Putting… Continue reading So…..The Dentist Didn’t Kill Me

Lesson learned

Today has been a particularly rough one. It’s a Sunday evening, we have had some thunderstorms and all I have wanted to do is sit outside with a cocktail. I can taste the vodka and it’s super irritating. It’s a good thing it’s Sunday. This is one of the few times I’ve found myself happy… Continue reading Lesson learned

Art Therapy, Therapy, and Farewells

Last night turned out to be an incredibly needed experience for me. It was the first time I had done art therapy with this group and I didn’t know what to expect exactly, I was just excited to be doing art. Since I have gotten out of the hospital I have thought so much about… Continue reading Art Therapy, Therapy, and Farewells