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Mother’s Day and Step One
5/9/16 Yesterday was Mother’s Day. There’s no way of saying this without sounding like a narcissist, but it was hard for me. I realize it was about a billion other mothers, but it was rough for me. It was hard to see others so happy being celebrated when I feel like such a piece of…
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Rough days… Good thing there’s Cavalia.
5/7/16 The silver lining over the last week or so has been hard to see. Pain and frustration have been thick and I haven’t wanted to write at all. There is a pain in my side I have never felt before. After an x-ray, the doctor told me there is some sort of lump in…
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Look for the silver lining
4/26/16 This past weekend and week was a hard couple of days. I didn’t really have the mental energy to write, which I am sure didn’t help my situation. I made it through without a drink though and accomplished kind of a lot. Cleaned out part of the garage, started an art project, and didn’t…
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If I make it to 60
4/23/16 This morning I sent my oldest off to work and then straight to his dad’s. His dad has more spare time on his hands than me. He can devote more time and energy to him. It’s our hope that the distance from his friends and the wonderful influence his dad can be will help…
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Rough day. Harsh realizations
4/22/16 Today has been the hardest day to date. We had some things that happened in the middle of the night involving my oldest and it will require months and months of dealing with the different consequences of his one dumb choice. I kept opening his door throughout the night to make sure he hadn’t…
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Horse therapy
4/20/16 Last night on the way home from family night Dave told me how happy everyone is that I woke up that Friday morning. It is extremely hard for me to see that part of life right now. I feel like I’m a burden that everyone was forced into baring because of my failed action.…
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First time for everything
color+code+assessment 4/19/16 Today is frustrating. I am still waking up with a headache and with an overall ache in my body. It’s unrealistic, I know, to think that one day I will wake up feeling great, but damn, I was hoping it would be getting a lot better by now. My first appointment with a…
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Another Monday
4/18/16 Another Monday. I didn’t do half of the things I meant to this weekend, but that’s ok. I did go for a nice walk with a good friend Sunday and made it through about half of the pile in the garage. Getting rid of things sometimes is really hard for me. I know memories…
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Finding the right meetings is key.
4/17/16 Last night was great. Good friends, food and conversation. I love that family so much! I am blessed to have such an amazing friend family. I am very grateful for all of them. This morning is my first AA meeting. Last night as I was telling my husband he didn’t have to go, my…
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On edge
4/16/16 Well, I’m deeply concerned. My husband said this short fuse may be a phase. He mentioned he went through something similar. I hope so. It may be that I just need to re-learn how to have patience without some sort of depressant in my system. There are so many things I am having to…