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Look for the silver lining
4/26/16 This past weekend and week was a hard couple of days. I didn’t really have the mental energy to write, which I am sure didn’t help my situation. I made it through without a drink though and accomplished kind of a lot. Cleaned out part of the garage, started an art project, and didn’t…
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If I make it to 60
4/23/16 This morning I sent my oldest off to work and then straight to his dad’s. His dad has more spare time on his hands than me. He can devote more time and energy to him. It’s our hope that the distance from his friends and the wonderful influence his dad can be will help…
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Rough day. Harsh realizations
4/22/16 Today has been the hardest day to date. We had some things that happened in the middle of the night involving my oldest and it will require months and months of dealing with the different consequences of his one dumb choice. I kept opening his door throughout the night to make sure he hadn’t…
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Horse therapy
4/20/16 Last night on the way home from family night Dave told me how happy everyone is that I woke up that Friday morning. It is extremely hard for me to see that part of life right now. I feel like I’m a burden that everyone was forced into baring because of my failed action.…
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First time for everything
color+code+assessment 4/19/16 Today is frustrating. I am still waking up with a headache and with an overall ache in my body. It’s unrealistic, I know, to think that one day I will wake up feeling great, but damn, I was hoping it would be getting a lot better by now. My first appointment with a…
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Another Monday
4/18/16 Another Monday. I didn’t do half of the things I meant to this weekend, but that’s ok. I did go for a nice walk with a good friend Sunday and made it through about half of the pile in the garage. Getting rid of things sometimes is really hard for me. I know memories…
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Finding the right meetings is key.
4/17/16 Last night was great. Good friends, food and conversation. I love that family so much! I am blessed to have such an amazing friend family. I am very grateful for all of them. This morning is my first AA meeting. Last night as I was telling my husband he didn’t have to go, my…
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On edge
4/16/16 Well, I’m deeply concerned. My husband said this short fuse may be a phase. He mentioned he went through something similar. I hope so. It may be that I just need to re-learn how to have patience without some sort of depressant in my system. There are so many things I am having to…
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Learning how to live at the age of 37. My story of depression, addiction, and recovery.
In my attempt to keep my own word to myself and never return to a place like the crazy ward again, this is the beginning of the story of my recovery. It is April 11, 2016 and I have successfully been assessed and registered for a recovery program pretty close to my house. My heart…
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Preface
“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that.” Robin Williams 1951-2014 There is also a thick layer of fear that has been helping make up excuses as to why I…