Category: Journal

  • Group

    Group

    4/14/16 Tonight was group again, where we split the large group into two smaller groups and let each other talk. I like these nights, they are open, safe, honest and healing. They asked me more in depth, about my past and what had brought me there. It was hard to tell everyone, but the more…

  • Climb on….I’ll spot you.

    Climb on….I’ll spot you.

    4/14/16 Last night was a positive experience. It was raining so we stayed in the gym and climbed. I didn’t climb, just watching people do it made me severely dehydrated. I tried to traverse, but the spewing water coming from my palms made more than three holds impossible. I did, however, cheer hard for all…

  • One foot in front of the other

    One foot in front of the other

    4/13/16 I forgot to write my positive self talk yesterday. I backed masterfully into a parking space, I was pretty proud of that. I also didn’t use my lunch hour to take the cash in the house down to the liquor store. That was a difficult thing. I could have had it gone before my…

  • The Day After

    The Day After

    4/12/16 Today is a lot like the day after a big workout when you have the ridiculous expectation of seeing a huge difference in the mirror when you get out of the shower, realizing that there isn’t, and further realizing you’re going to have to work out again in order to see one. I kinda…

  • Learning how to live at the age of 37. My story of depression, addiction, and recovery.

    Learning how to live at the age of 37. My story of depression, addiction, and recovery.

    In my attempt to keep my own word to myself and never return to a place like the crazy ward again, this is the beginning of the story of my recovery. It is April 11, 2016 and I have successfully been assessed and registered for a recovery program pretty close to my house. My heart…

  • Well, I Guess I’m Sticking Around

    Well, I Guess I’m Sticking Around

    The first time I fought to die was at a time in life when a lot of people do, Jr. High School. Not a huge surprise for a pre-teen that dealt with depression and body image since I can remember. Unfortunately, I didn’t do my homework and when I attempted to cut my wrist, I…

  • Preface

    Preface

    “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that.” Robin Williams 1951-2014 There is also a thick layer of fear that has been helping make up excuses as to why I…