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My Journey Thus Far….In Art
Hey look! It’s my ‘sober art.’ I have been having a really hard time posting this one. My instinct is to over explain why I’m making, what I see to be, as a sort of boastful post. It is so strange how anxious I am as I fight this instinct. After all, I have been…
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Well, that was harder than expected….
The last couple weeks have proven, beyond any doubt, how ridiculous my naive optimism can be. My mental state has been put to the test and has emerged with a solid D-. While Dave was out of town, it was also UEA, so the boys both had sleepovers at friends houses. I still had to…
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Six Months Sober
This is one of those posts I started writing about twelve times, just to delete it and start again. I think I have figured out why it’s been so hard to put into words what my feelings have been over the last couple weeks. When October 1st came and this milestone was reached, what seemed…
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Anxiety? There’s an app for that.
These last few weeks have been a delicate tightrope walk, constantly catching myself before falling off one side into the depths depression, or the other side into the spiraling chaos of anxiety. The clarity I have from the absence of any chemicals has helped me navigate my way back up to the rope when I have…
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Turned off the Fog Machine and Shed my Wet Clothes
A couple of weeks ago I made the decision to take medication out of my life for a while. The initial plan was just to cut my dose in half, but thanks to the deeds of a dishonest computer, I ended up taking them out completely. I had been getting increasingly frustrated with the combination…
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Ebbs and Flows
The last couple weeks have been incredibly difficult to maneuver through. Every time I feel like my feet are planted firmly, a huge wave of depression comes and sucks the sand out from underneath me, sending me tumbling into a washing machine of anxiety and despair. It has been incredibly frustrating. I miss the speed and…
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Art Therapy
These are a couple of the pieces I have done to keep myself busy. You know what they say….idle hands are ridiculous because they should be holding cocktails…….or something like that.
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‘A Vacation, From my Problems…..?’
Sober Hawaii has not been an easy accomplishment, but it has been satisfying. The first night was the absolute hardest. Our little family came in a day before everyone else and stayed in a hotel. The buzz of the ice machine in the hallway mocked me….all, night, long. When I woke up to just water…
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Prepping
Yesterday, at my regular Saturday meeting downtown I was reminded of how truly lucky I am to have such an amazing support system surrounding me, particularly my loving husband. So many relationship stories full of frustrated ultimatums, stubborn responses and eventual separations surround me and here I sit, next to the man who wouldn’t give…
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Coined On
Well, I have successfully completed my 8 week program, completely sober. I wasn’t positive today would be my last because of the holiday this week but it was a pleasant surprise to see my name up on the board when I walked in. Our regular group counselor wasn’t there today and I was given the…