Still navigating the darkness

Today is rainy and cool. It is my favorite weather. If Portland’s weather norm could come here to stay, Utah would have it all in my mind. I feel that today will be a nice, productive day. The list of things I want to get done before my crazy work week starts is a long one. I am making sure that list includes me stuff too. Getting my blog designed and up, reading at least a chapter of one of the thousand books I want to get through, taking a walk and working on some art. Now that my body is at a dull ache in different places, and I have more energy, I need more hours in the day.

This fight against sadness, even with all the positives around me right now, is still so frustrating. There was a huge part of me that hoped after having the anti depressant in my body for more than a month, this would disappear. Not sure if it’s something I am doing wrong or if it’s perhaps the wrong meds, or that this will just still always be here, despite all the work I am doing. That’s a bit discouraging if that’s the case, but I will pull my mind out of that hole and focus on what I can do to help myself. The more I accomplish today, the better I will feel I think.

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