Today is rainy and cool. It is my favorite weather. If Portland’s weather norm could come here to stay, Utah would have it all in my mind. I feel that today will be a nice, productive day. The list of things I want to get done before my crazy work week starts is a long one. I am making sure that list includes me stuff too. Getting my blog designed and up, reading at least a chapter of one of the thousand books I want to get through, taking a walk and working on some art. Now that my body is at a dull ache in different places, and I have more energy, I need more hours in the day.

This fight against sadness, even with all the positives around me right now, is still so frustrating. There was a huge part of me that hoped after having the anti depressant in my body for more than a month, this would disappear. Not sure if it’s something I am doing wrong or if it’s perhaps the wrong meds, or that this will just still always be here, despite all the work I am doing. That’s a bit discouraging if that’s the case, but I will pull my mind out of that hole and focus on what I can do to help myself. The more I accomplish today, the better I will feel I think.